Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
