It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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