i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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