john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize