Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
