...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
