oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
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