I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
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