Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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