I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
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