He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
