Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
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