Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize