Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
