Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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