well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
