im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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