Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
