nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
