His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
