we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
And then my night got REAL pukey
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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