Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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