Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
