you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
