So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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