In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
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