She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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