So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Randomize
