Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize