You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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