happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
