New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize
