shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
