From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
