This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
