I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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