I CAN MOONWALK!
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
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