SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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