Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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