the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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