he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
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I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
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I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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