from now on my penis is your penis
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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