One girl and one boy is just not enough.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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