I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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