): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Randomize
