I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?