no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
19 People Confess The Craziest Sex Act They’ve Ever Participated In
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
17 People Admit the Worst Thing They’ve Done To a Server
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Randomize
