I'm going to jail i love you
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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