how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?