He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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