I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
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