I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
