I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Randomize
