theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
