I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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