I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize