She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
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