The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Randomize
