So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
