Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
