I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
